Hypnosis and Thanksgiving are about slowing down and being present. Thanksgiving invites you to pause and appreciate what’s on your plate (literally and figuratively). By the time the turkey’s eaten, everyone’s in a trance anyway. A food coma is just tryptophan’s version of hypnosis.
When we are honest, we all recognize how a holiday can trigger old family dynamics. Here’s what happened the Thanksgiving I told my family I had returned from New Mexico with my Hypnotherapy Certification.
My sister stopped making eye contact, got up from the table, and started walking backward out of the room.
My son snorted gravy through his nose and said, “Good one, Mom.”
My father said he would believe me if I could hypnotize the neighbor’s dog and make the Bleepity-Bleep-Bleep-Bleep stop barking.
My niece waved her fingers in my face and murmured, “You’re getting sleepy, you’re getting sleepy.” She laughed so hard she peed herself.
My mom asked if I could make her forget the Thanksgiving my sister-in-law burnt the turkey. Everybody knows the ability to laugh at oneself is often seen as a sign of self-awareness, resilience, and indicates you do not take yourself too seriously. I replied, “Why don’t I take you into hypnosis. That way we can all forget what happened fifteen years ago.”
And the snark continued…
… until I put them in trance and made them do the dishes while I ate all the dessert.
JUST KIDDING!
My family is a very resistant group and truly I would need hazard pay to work with them, because Thanksgiving dinners are like group hypnosis — one person starts talking about the past, and everyone regresses.
If your family sounds like my family, change the pattern.
Ask a Question
Does this really work for me? Yes – Go, No – Do something different!
What other choices do I have?
When you ask those questions, you are looking for awareness. You could decide to stay home, travel, or only show up in time for dessert. Do what works for you!
What About Guilt?
Guilt-tripping is an emotional tactic people use, sometimes unintentionally. Here are some strategies you can use when someone makes you feel guilty:
- Pause Before Reacting
When guilt hits, don’t rush to defend yourself or apologize. Take a breath, mentally step back, and ask, “Am I actually responsible for this, or am I just being made to feel that way?” That pause allows your feeling mind (subconscious) to take a break and your critical thinking mind (your brain) to evaluate the situation with more objectivity.
- Check the Facts, Not the Feelings
Separate the facts from the emotions. What happened last time? What is this person claiming I did? Then ask yourself some questions? What would happen if I stopped reacting? How can I change this? What do they need to hear? (Don’t look for an answer, just be present with your questions until you have an awareness.)
You can always tell someone, “I hear you’re disappointed (upset, angry, whatever they are doing), yet I’ve made my choice.”
- Own Your Boundaries
You’re allowed to make decisions that others don’t like. If someone’s guilt-tripping you because you said “no,” remember: “No” is a complete sentence. You’re an adult and you don’t need a permission slip. You can’t take responsibility for how they feel about your choice!
- Don’t Over-Explain
The more you justify, the deeper the guilt hook sticks. Give a short, calm response. “I’ve made my decision.” or, “Thank you for the invite, I won’t be attending.”
- Use Self-Compassion
Feeling guilty doesn’t always mean you did something wrong, unless you’re the one that flung alcohol on the burning turkey and the fire fighters had to show up. Then you might need to apologize and excuse yourself by never showing up again. Apologizing makes you the bigger person. Attendance is never mandatory unless your trust fund is on the line.
Sometimes guilt just means you or they care. Remind yourself: I can’t change anyone else. I can change how I react to them.
When You Are Made Wrong
- When you have a parent (brother, sister) and they make you wrong, tell them, “Thank you so much. I am so grateful I have you as a parent (brother, sister). Everything I am today and everything I know today, I have because of you.” For every complaint, thank them and tell them how everything you are today, is because of them. They stop complaining because you just made them responsible for it all. This is an Access Consciousness tool that I’ve used numerous times, and it works so get to work and work out how you will no longer hear them complaining about you.
- Stop the argument with, “You know what? You’re right. I’m wrong.” Do this three times. It stops the argument. Who cares if drunk Uncle Crab Ankle has a perverted, twisted point of view. Stop him cold with, “You’re right. I’m wrong.” Some of you may struggle with the verbiage because we’ve been taught to be right and hate being wrong. However, if you want to stop the family insanity say, “You’re right. I’m wrong.” It generally takes three times and they move along. Again, it won’t be easy until it is.
Stop holiday hell before it escalates into December.
Imagine having a library inside of you that contains all the answers. The who, what, when, where, and how you learned how to emotionally respond. Hypnosis can get you in touch with your subconscious mind so you can respond differently to the triggers.
No more throwing snark at your family as you pass the pumpkin pie.
I am grateful to everyone who reads this blog and tries a new tool.
And please, let me know when you are ready to go into trance at Donna Brown Hypnosis.
Donna Brown is a Certified Hypnotist based in Houston with over a decade of experience helping clients create positive change through the power of the subconscious mind. She is a graduate of the National Guild of Hypnotists, Inc. and the National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists. Certifications include Access Bars, Access Facelift, Access Certified Facilitator, Body Code, Emotion Code, and Belief Code Practitioner, Psych-K, and NLP.
